Withering sea of Love

At one time or another, we all tend to like someone or something quite a lot, to the extent that it elevates into love. The definition of love is somewhat interpreted in quite a few optional alternatives and characteristics according to the dictionary. Sometimes, the answer can be eluding enough. However, one thing is to be sure though, love is our strong affection for her, him or it. This love can mean from a moment in time, a few hours or to days. Some lasts for months and years and wither away at the end, down into the drain. Much regret this sad trend is spreading through out the world. While a few cases these days, lasts till death do us part, and there are and were cases, which outlast, even longer after we are long gone, dead and buried. This is one of those topics similar to religion, politics, race and life itself, there is no end to debating and talked of, written about, but still remaining in our minds and mouths till the cows come home. We has also witnessed through the beginning of time since centuries, where many a soldier and ordinary men lay down their lives and knowingly sacrifice themselves for the love of their motherland, fatherland or for God, king, queen and country or for someone specific. This ‘Love’ also walks in mysterious ways too.  Furthermore, there had been many cases throughout history, where the mothers, fathers and sons or daughters offer their own lives, in lieu that their offspring may live and sees the sun another day. This ‘Love’ does many extraordinary things in the face of dire consequences. One wonders what emotions or magnetism it holds to let us man, perform acts that normally would not even consider in the normal course of business. The chameleon of love cast a variety of shadow for each situation on all of us.

Tha Gyi (loosely to mean eldest son) is fifteen years old, and he has three other siblings, Hla Hla (to mean beautiful) age thirteen a girl, thence Pa Pa (to mean greatness) age twelve another girl, and last but not least Tha Lay (loosely to mean youngest son) age ten, all children of U Maung Gyi (loosely to mean young man) and Daw Moe (miss rain). They all live in a small fishing village of Kaung Ywa (good village) about three miles further down from Kha Mauk Hmaw (loosely meaning palm hat spirit), opposite east of Hainggyi Kyun island, in the outer most delta of Pathen river, overlooking the Andaman sea. Inhabitants around the area, trawls the sea during dry seasons and change over to working in the paddy fields during monsoon as the sea becomes too rough to fish or trawl. Father, U Maung Gyi and mother, Daw Moe journeyed right up to outskirt of Pathein town, the capital of Ayeyarwady Division in Pathein District, and requested the Abbot to take him in as a monastery pupil, to work there for his board and lodging, and in return, to teach him how to read and write, free of charge. Since the age of nine, Tha Gyi has been there because the whole of his family is void of any literacy. His parents were correct in a way, view he proved to be a bright young boy, willing to do his duties with a smile and ever willing to help out. The monastery found him to be a right choice also, and taught him to read and write while schooling in the neighborhood government school. It yielded dividends for all concerned for selecting him. Even young Tha Gyi was able to grasp reading and writing well by the age of eleven. The monastery was heaven for Tha Gyi, not only did they lodge, fed, clothed and educated him, he also got a small pocket money from the monks making his life more pleasant. Tha Gyi never forgot the hand that fed him and biting them off would be a very big mistake, and he does that not.

Three square meals a day was in no way comparable to home, where they sometime has to resort dining on porridge or gruel rice with fish paste only, for many a day when harvest was poor. Should there be charitable donations made by the monastery supporters directly to him, he would hand the same to the monks first and only keep what they gave him without any questions. They trusted him and likewise he trusts the monastery and always in absence of any doubts, abides by the regulations and rules imposed onto the pupils. Each year, during the long summer break from April to early June, he was permitted to return home. He always takes back home second hand clothing given to him and some cash that he saved from the pocket money as presents for his parents and siblings. Should he be given a new longyi, he would store it in his wooden chest and carry it back home for his father as a gift. He also make it a point to collect old short candles to bring back home where it can be melted and be transformed to new ones view they do not have the luxury of electricity.

From the age of eleven when he mastered reading, his sisters would collect or loan from local village elders, old newspapers so that he could read to them in the evenings under glow of the candlelight. The whole family would listen to his reading, as this was their only source of news on the country. Transistor radio and or television are only wishful thinking since eating and clothing takes precedence every time. He felt superior when reading because the whole family would listen intensely. Father would lend his ears while sipping  plain green tea and smoking his home made cheroots from corn leaves, pounded tobacco and small pieces of tobacco wood. Mother would keep her hearing channels open while chewing her paan and restore to weaving cane mats with his sisters helping her to be sold for want of generating extra income. They economize to lighting the candle for not more than one hour as these are a rare commodity, and most useful during the monsoon when no one can do much or earn enough. Their compact hut is made of waved palm leaves and supported by beams of bamboo and with tightly waved bamboo as flooring, all self made of course. Mother and the children sleep in a space partitioned by a blanket wall strung on by an unused fishing net between the bamboo beams, while father and himself sleep out in the remaining space.

The young man now helps his father trawl and fish by nets from first light till before noon and once again in the early evening light, twice a day. All winching in is done by muscle power alone. Mending of damaged nets is to be carried out in the afternoons when the sun is at the most unbearable. Fishes caught are sold to the wholesale buyers on reaching ashore and maybe one or two kept aside for the household as food. When the catch is poor, all are sold and only the unsold are kept aside as food for the family. When none are left, it’s just plain tough luck. Such were their sad existence. 

When Tha Gyi was thirteen, he spied a girl selling freshly caught fish on a round tray balancing by her head. She would go round the village and also to other surrounding villages until all were sold. He does not know what happens when there are left over’s. He believes they would cook it at home. When he first set eyes on her, she must have been around twelve. She was slim, a shade dark, pretty with Thankha on her face. The bumps on her chest were just developing. The weights she uses are old torchlight batteries with one or two pebbles. Those weights were never wrong as matched with actual weights prior her selling spree and well accepted by buyers.  One evening by the village well, he spotted that she was disheartened.

As he approached the well, Tha Gyi enquired, “ Why the long face, anything wrong? “

She replied sadly, “ My clay pot got a hole and I cannot fill it up with water. “ With tears beginning to dwell in her eyes.

“ Is that all? No problem please let me have a look at it. “  Tha Gyi consoled her and taking the clay pot from her hand and held it up against the sunlight, where he noticed a small crack. He then dug some clay beside the well with his bare hands and washed some on the crack and handed back to her saying, “ This should hold it for to today, tomorrow evening, come with two pots, leave me this damage one which I will get it repaired and return the next evening, alright? “

Thence handed her back her pot.

She filled up with water and found the temporary repairs held. Then she commented, “ Thank you, I’ll do that.“, picking up the pot, she walked back with her group of friends, sharing jokes and laughing once again.

Tha Gyi carried out his normal chores the next day and when evening came he waited by the village well for her. She showed up nice and prim and he took the cracked pot from her for necessary repairs. The next morning, Tha Gyi rubbed some clay from a nearby creek when the tide was down and requested the pot maker to also place his personally repaired pot together with his wares in the kiln, of course, paying for services rendered.

The old man said, “ I know you are U Maung Gyi’s eldest son. Your repair is rough and unprofessional. I will do it for you, no charge.”

He than gave his professional touch and placed it in the kiln, together with all his other pots. After some time he handed back the pot to Tha Gyi, it was as good as new, with not a hint of being repaired.

The repair to the cracked pot was totally invisible. He offered his humble gratitude to the pot maker, smiled and walked back home, pot in hand.

That evening he took it back to the village well and handed to her saying, “ As good as new. I am Tha Gyi, a monastery pupil from Pathein town. “

The young girl said, “ I know who you are. I am Chaw Hla (meaning pretty beauty). How much do I owe you for the repair?”

He just replied, “Join me to Mawtinzun Pagoda this Saturday and we will call it quits.”

“ Okay, done. See you. “  Chaw Hla said smilingly and walked off with her friends back to their homes with filled water pots.

Tha Gyi felt rather accomplished and superior, then made his way for his home and help with the household chores. At now age fourteen, he is also fast becoming a handsome adolescent, and he felt more like being a man. He does not smoke or drink but does not say no to a few mugs of toddy when offered now and then and can hold his liquor.  Come Saturday early evening, he walked to the main road and waited for a bus for Mawtinzun Pagoda. At a distance, he saw a group about four girls approaching the bus stand. At close range, he realized that it was Chaw Hla with her group of girl friends.

When close enough he said with a stern face to her, “ I thought you were to join me to the Pagoda.”

Chaw Hla smilingly replied, “ But I am, with my friends too.”

The evening came and went, Tha Gyi protested no more. This was not what he expected, but it was not in the contract he concluded with her, so no use crying over spilled milk. She was growing up fast and he talked with her utilizing the eyes only. They both knew it that they were fast approaching the point of being deemed a courting couple by the village, even though not a word has been uttered. In the evenings after his chores with his father, he would take a bath, comb his hair and have a change of clothes and wait by the village well for Chaw Hla. She also likewise bathed, with fresh Thanakha on her beautiful face and an odd flower in her hair, if she can find one. Thence she would proceed to the well and draw water that was about twenty feet from the surface of the water to the well top. He then walked beside her and made small talks till the beginning of their lane. Her friends were fast disappearing. By early June, he left the village for the monastery at the edge of Pathein and continued his duties and schooled once again.     

At home, before he left the fishing village, both his father and mother with tears in their eyes would say goodbye to him until the next year. Their tears were not of sadness. It was more of being proud that their eldest son is being schooled in Pathein town while his sisters and little brother looked on with anticipation. His mother always gives him a hug plus a kiss on both his cheeks while whispering words of her love and being all so proud. He never takes back any of his clothing except for the pair he’s wearing, knowing full well the monastery will clothe him as necessary. At the monastery, he continued his duties diligently and also be a big brother to other pupils there. Schoolwork is taken very seriously as Tha Gyi knows that this would be his passport to a better life some day.

He now is a senior pupil at the monastery, and his work consist of collecting alms for the monks from the nearby market and houses, in five high food containers. Tha Gyi also looks after the Abbot and senior monks plus helping out with the clerical work with the Kapiya (monastery clerk), which is quite a responsible job. He now no more lay tables nor attend to the flowerpots or wash the plates, pots and pans. He’s got more responsible matters to take care of. Now age fifteen and in the ninth standard, the monks still gives him pocket money and he copes well with his schoolwork. He needed no special coaching or additional tuition. However, he does punch in extra hours and burn the midnight oil to be at par with the teachings. 

Next March after the examinations, Tha Gyi as usual went back to his mother and father. The same day that evening, he took a stroll to the village well and there he saw Chaw Hla in her shapely self and glory drawing well water into her clay pot.

On seeing him, Chaw Hla exclaimed, “ So your are back again, you look grown up and what news of your studies, any improvements? “

He countered, “ Yes I’m back. I am now fifteen and in the ninth standard of our no. 6 state high school. You also look more grown up and I must admit you are turning into a swan fast.”

Chaw Hla appreciated his comments but replied, “ I’m still myself, drawing water for the family and selling fresh fish on my round tray every day.”

Thus her troupe of four young ladies with water in pots filled to the brim, single filed back to their homes.

Actually, Chaw Hla is turning to be a young woman. Beautiful, tall, dark and all her physical features are developing on just fine. The sleepy fishing village is watching which young man will pick this beautiful wild country flower. Tha Gyi tries his best to always be her side, baring his and her work. In the evenings, they would walk the wide sandy beaches or just sat and watch the calm Andaman Sea waves rolls in. It is not done to have a swim together especially before marriage, and being by themselves in the evenings is already pushing the limits of acceptability.   

While they sat on the rotted fishing boat on the beach, Chaw Hla posed a question to Tha Gyi, “ We have been together for a number of years, what are your plans?”

Tha Gyi was startled and perplexed by her question that was most unexpected. However, he replied, “ I never looked at it that way Chaw Hla. My aim is to get through the matriculation examination next year in one stroke. I cannot think any further than that. My family is poor and sisters and brother are growing up fast too. I should be thinking about them also. Father is not young anymore and how long can mother go on, I just don’t know. I should be making plans about them also. Thanks for your reminder.”

Chaw Hla smiled and continued, “ What about us? Any plans on that? We are all quickly growing up and my family has started to think of finding a suitable man and partner for me. Don’t you think of that? “

He said, “ I think it’s a bit premature to think on those lines by your family. I do love you dearly, that is to be sure. Thus my sole reason for spending all my free time with you. The crux of the matter is we cannot live on love and fresh air alone, one need to set concrete plans and chart a course for the future. We all have to better ourselves and try accomplish much higher goals than our fathers.”

Then he held her hands and squeezed it as a sign of comfort, and looked into her eyes under the moonless night, but the stars did glow on her smooth face.

Chaw Hla gazed into the quiet sea and pretended not to notice his hand squeezing hers. She was happy to hear him say that he loved her. However, she did notice a hint that she was not number one in his priority list which she felt offended and cheated, if you like. She felt that she should be number one, as he was on hers. They sat holding each other hands on the beached boat looking into nowhere with each one lost in their own thoughts. Chaw Hla then was the first one to speak.

She said rather slowly so that Tha Gyi will get the full message, because this would be life changing. “ You see, my parents are like yours. They are illiterate and follow tradition without question. They base their actions on what happened before them and hold on to them as gospel. My grand parents got married when they were around fifteen years of age and my parents followed suit. As such, it is most likely that they will make similar arrangements and plans for me. There will be nothing that I can do, say or comment.”

Tha Gyi stole a kiss on her right cheek and continued holding on to her hands. He also was at a loss. He understood what Chaw Hla was implying, but there was nothing he could say or do either. His father and mother took upon themselves to work extra hard so that they can propel him to another plane. Life as a fisherman was hard with no prospects at that, and the takings were getting less as the years rolled on by. Besides, he’s got two teenage sisters and a young brother to think of. His parents are pushing on in years, and Tha Gyi felt it is his duty now to run the family to the best of his ability. Soon his sisters will be coming of matrimonial age and he did not want them to be just another fisherman’s wife. They all has chipped in so much for the sake of love for him, and he felt that it is now his turn to herald the family flag in front of them. Only then did the tears came down like raindrops from his sad face. Jump left or right, somebody surely suffers. Chaw Hla understood what he was going through, she could not help and give any clear answer for him either. Chaw Hla wiped his tears unlocking her hand from his and she also had a good cry. Both consoled each other without any clear answers. They could not understand why fate was treating them like this, as they had done nothing wrong and wished no ill will against others. They sat a little longer than usual and both made their way home in the darkness of the night.   

The next evening at the village well, Tha Gyi made a rendezvous with Chaw Hla to meet by the beached boat around eight. He was there early and he thought it over the night and whole of the day. Chaw Hla did turn up and sat on the back of the boat overlooking the sea. He joined her and sat together listening to the sound of the waves crashing onto the shoreline. No one made a comment and they could also hear the sound of a few frogs telling them that rains can be expected in a not too distant future. He wondered why his ship withered in the sea of love. He bravely set a strong sail for his ship to sail into calmer waters.

Tha Gyi started the conversation, “ For what its worth, I say again that I love you very much and also swear to you that I have no other girl in town or nowhere else for that matter. I just do not want to marry you for the sake marriage alone. I would like to offer you a life better than this, also a small house and start a large family while we are at it. All this take time and I do not have enough money or has a magic wand to create all that I want for you at a stroke of my stick. Like the old Burmese proverb, one needs to walk slowly, to pick the most tender tea leaves should we require the best.  So my darling, I want you to wait for me. Let me seek an education to open doors of opportunity. I promise that I will be back, all I want is for you to wait for me. Okay? ”

Chaw Hla smiled and replied, “ That was music to my ears. Comforting to know that you will come looking for me and ride off together on your white horse. I believe you whole heartily, but I cannot say the same for my parents. Their wishes are my command and nothing I can do.”

“ For you to know, I will make sure your parents know my intentions should I pass my matriculation examination next year. That I promise. Until then, please take me as your boyfriend totally engaged with you. I have no ring to give you, but in my heart I deem and vow myself to you, and you alone. I am only a monastery pupil from Pathein town, that’s the best I can do, for my father is also a poor fisherman like yours.” Tha Gyi holding her hands into his, and looking strait into her tearful sad eyes made this solemn promise.

Chaw Hla was totally comforted and satisfied by Tha Gyi’s words. They really kissed for the first time and he held her tight like there was no tomorrow. He could not have enough. He again and again kissed her full on her lips and cannot have stayed away from the aroma of Thanaka on her face. They held each other tight under the stars. All their hidden emotions surfaced. At that moment in time, he was her knight in shining amour and she was his queen. They could hear the fire watch in the distance striking ten on the metal automobile wheel frame and at last he had to let go of her, as she still is not his officially.

Time clocked on and by early June, Tha Gyi was back again in his familiar surrounding of his monastery home in Pathein town. He was burning the midnight oil more and more as there are many boys waiting in line to be  rescued by the monastery. He also realized that passing the matriculation examination was only his beginning to greater things in life. He tried his best to keep everything in his mind at bay as the serious business of passing the examination was at hand. During one September morning in the rain drenched town, while he was exercising his collection of alms in five high food containers, he spotted an old Indian man sitting by the entrance of the market, enticing passersby to read their horoscopes and calculate their astrology’s.

With one hand holding an umbrella and the other hanging on to the food containers he enquired just for fun, “ How much to read my astrology? “

Tha Gyi had brand a new crispy Ten Kyat note in his pocket given to him by one of the monks for washing their robes.

The old Indian man said, “ Ten Kyats and no more, and you shall hear your future, good and bad and maybe you also will be able to take necessary precautions to avoid your bad omens.”

Tha Gyi’s new Ten Kyats note looks like it’s going to be jumping. He exclaimed,     

“ Okay, you have got yourself a deal, here is my Ten Kyats, let’s hear it.” And he sat down by the old man, shielding the rain and with his Ten Kyat note gone.

The old man enquired his date of birth and the day he was born. Thence he did a few calculations on his small slate board and also referred to an old tatty thick book from his dirty Shan bag.

After waiting a short spell, the old man started, “You will be successful in all your studies and money wise have enough, not much mind you. Career wise also looks okay but your love life seems to be tainted somewhat. I see at least three affairs and the third one should bear fruit and you shall have children.”

He enquired, “ Is that all?”

“ What do you expect for Ten Kyats, an encyclopedia?” the old man replied.

Thus the session came to a close.

Tha Gyi completed his rounds and made his way in the pouring rain back to the monastery and handed over the dishes to the kitchen. With the astrology forecast no more in his mind, he attended to his tasks as speedily as possible to hit the books again as final examination will be coming in March. He wanted to do revision at least twice for each subject and be right and ready for his approaching examination.

He sat the matriculation examination in March and did not go back to the village as usual. He waited anxiously and long to see his results posted on the no. 6 State’s High School notice board. The results were posted in the early days of June, and he pushed and elbowed his way to the notice board to catch sight the fruits of his endeavors were there or otherwise. His name and roll number was there, printed for all to see. He passed, got through, made it. He ran back to the monastery and informed the Abbot and the whole compound. He was happy beyond words. He celebrated with green tea and a guitar singing songs with the other pupils. He confirmed once again his results in the local newspaper, which published the whole pass list and requested the monk to keep as his own, since he wanted to show his family also. His request was granted. A few days later, the Abbot called for him and voiced that he was most pleased with his result, which should set a good example to other pupils. At the same, time told him that his time was up here in the monastery and to make room for other needy young boys. With that, Tha Gyi packed his wooden trunk for one last time and gave homage to the Lord Buddha, and the Abbot for supporting him all these years, and bided his fond farewell to all. He journeyed back to his village with a brimming smile. Tha Gyi recalled the phase from Julius Ceaser letter to the Roman Senate stating, ‘ I came, I saw and I conquered’. (In Latin; veni, vidi, vici, 707 AUC- Anno Urbis Conditae)

At home, both his parent, so did his siblings shed tears of joy. They all were so proud of him. He was the first boy from their village that passed the matriculation examination. He already made up his mind on his future path and must tell Chaw Hla father first of his decision. The rains had started early this year. In his wetness, he went to Chaw Hla house, and enquired to see U Kyaw Moe, her father. He was sitting by the porch sipping green tea. Chaw Hla expression was of intense curiosity and excitement as he sat down beside U Kyaw Moe.

While the rain pounded on, Tha Gyi opened up his chest and poured out what he wanted to say, “ U Kyaw Moe Sir, I think you know of me. I am Tha Gyi, eldest boy of U Maung Gyi, a fisherman living by the path to the beach. I just passed my matriculation examination a few days ago, and I intend to apply to join the Defense Services Academy (DSA) in Pyin Oo Lwin. This is so that I will be able to get a degree after a period of 4 years. The cost to my whole education, clothing, lodging, plus food will be all paid for by the Ministry of Defense. That is no mean feat and my only way of securing a degree with a worthy profession at the end, as my poor father is unable pay for all that, working as a fisherman. I also made a promise to your lovely daughter Chaw Hla that I will marry her, that is, once I am commissioned and entitled to a house. As a cadet, we are unable to marry, and marriage after the commission, also require the approval of Ministry of Defense. In short, I am requesting to you Sir, to hold on any marriage plans for Chaw Hla till I can well afford to offer her a home. Kindly understand my predicament.” 

U Kyaw Moe sipped his green tea and prepared a paan from the lacquer ware paan box and placed it in his mouth. Thence he placed the spitting bowl near him and said slowly, “ Tha Gyi, yes, I know of you and also your father as well. What you just said is very commendable and I like your bravery to tell me your terms on a platter. Like you made a promise to my daughter, I can only promise to you that I will hold on till the last moment. Similar to your father, we are also fishermen and not rich. We live like all others in the village, from hand to mouth and our survival depends on our catch and price of paddy. Should I can hold on no further while waiting for you, I will have no alternative but to wed her to another man who can pull us through. I with similar characteristics to your father has a duty to all my family for survival and fill their stomachs. Do I make myself clear? ”

All Tha Gyi had to say was, “ While I understand your predicament, I can ask no more. I have stated my case.”

He walked back slowly to his house by the path to the beach while the two other daughters of U Kyaw Moe played in the rain. He thought Chaw Hla’s father was a gentleman and he made no empty promises that he cannot keep.

Once at home, he secured necessary application forms, and with the consent of his parents, Tha Gyi applied for a place at DSA. Days passed without him seeing Chaw Hla as Tha Gyi time was taken with to and fro journeys to Pathein town army recruitment center. After about a week, he made a date with Chaw Hla by the beach. She sat by the rotted boat under an umbrella. He joined her there. He was now more daring than previously. After all, he already made firm commitments to Chaw Hla’s father.

Her first words were, “ I am so proud of you. I also think you were brave to come in point blank into our house. I truly believe that you will come back for me, however, my love, it will all now depend on how long financially we can stand on our own two feet. “

Tha Gyi holding her hand simply said, “ It is all now in God’s hands, let us pray your family survives for the next five or six years. I also have been accepted by the DSA and I must leave by day after tomorrow.”

They held each other tight under her small umbrella, while their tears rolled down uncontrollably as the waves came cashing onto the shoreline. They no more can console each other. They both just cried out loud, but the sound of the rain drowned their sobs of sorrow. The next day, both made a trip to Mawtinzun Pagoda and prayed for an answer to their difficult union. They both know that it is all in the hands of Mother Nature, and just have to accept her decision. They held their hands together and kissed as though there was no tomorrow. By the time they made their way home, clouds were graying and threatened to release it’s uncontrollable downpour.

The next day, Tha Gyi paid respect to his parents and kissed his mother on her cheek. He told his sisters and brother to be good and help mother and father. He should be back before they even realize it and he would write regularly. With that he made his way for Pyin Oo Lwin to study at DSA.

Tha Gyi was asked what service’s he preferred and why. He told the interview board that he would like to join the Navy as he saw naval ships entering and leaving Heingyi Kyun with sailors in their white uniforms which looked inviting from their village. Furthermore, he would like to serve on fighting ships. The interview board just smiled. Training was hard coupled with studies. There was no time to think of anything else.

Meantime in the fishing village, things were not that great either. For two years consecutively, fishing was slow and most were eating gruel rice, as paddy harvest did not materialize to a bumper crop. U Kyaw Moe was finding hard to fill his family stomachs and he had no alternative but to agree a marriage of Chaw Hla to a nearby village gold shop owner.

Chaw Hla knows that her father tried his best to hold on and at the same time needs to feed his hungry family. His agreement to her marriage to a nearby village gold shop owner was not wrong also. However, she loves only Tha Gyi and cannot bear the thought of another man ever touching her. Her father actions were right too. She did not know what to do. She loves her father and Tha Gyi, both. If she saved face with one side, the other party would suffer. She made up her mind that to save face to both sides, only possible way out is if she did not existed. This way, her father needs feed one less in the family and his luck might change for the better next year. However, to take her own life by a kitchen knife, she is too scared of the sight of blood. To walk into the sea would take time and she would suffer, that was not the answer either. One thing is to be sure of, she cannot let Tha Gyi see her as another man’s woman. Then the well came to her mind. Being the monsoon, there would be no people there, as all collected rain water from their roofs, less labour intensive and taste sweeter too. One day she saw and overheard her father discussing with a neighbor to sell his wooden boat, which was the family bread and butter, so to speak. It broke her heart, this was the last straw and it gave her the necessary courage to take her own life. There was nothing left for her to live for. She just walked slowly to the village well and jumped into it. Her head hit the well sidewall and she sustained a concussion before her limb body hit the water. Nearby house saw the incident and shouted for help. Men were there within minutes but retrieving her was in vain. The post-mortem showed that even death was due to drowning in about five feet of water, the primary cause was concussion sustained when her head hitting the well sidewall.

Cadet Tha Gyi was duly informed with a short letter from his sister. He could not shed a tear, he was too sad to even cry. He just wanted to know why fate has been so unkind to Chaw Hla and him. If anyone is to die, it should have been him. Afterall the soldier was he. During the summer recess, they were permitted to go back home. Tha Gyi in his crisp starched military cadet uniform, on arrival at his fishing village, made a call on U Kyaw Moe first. He made his condolences and did not look into Chaw Hla’s father face, for fear of him breaking down.

      

U Kyaw Moe looked sad on seeing him and he could sense that he was holding back his tears. All he said was, “ I made a decision she could not accept. She loved you explicitly.  Please pray for her sprit. At least Chaw Hla need not continue suffer like us.”

Tha Gyi replied, “ It’s such a waste. Your decision was not wrong, neither was she.”  

He walked away and made his way to his house by the lane to the beach. It was a sad case, nobody uttered a word about Chaw Hla and he left for Pyin Oo Lwin when his leave was due to expire.

Cadet Tha Gyi just continued his course in a state of limbo. During his last year there, he met lovely Honey Min Thu, an Arts graduate of Taunggyi College. She nursed him back to life with her bubbling outlook. He was grateful to her and thought of offering matrimony at the earliest opportunity. However, he came to realize that she was a social climber. She told him that should they be married, she would not accompany him to wherever he is to be posted, and preferred to be in Yangon only. She wanted a big house, a car, lots of spending money and a fun loving girl at that. She loved herself too much. He was just to be a scapegoat, even though he does not have the other qualifications. Judging from her talks and her actions, she rather be a fair weather wife only, take it or leave it. Even though Honey was fair, slim and beautiful and looks that would put some actresses to shame, he quickly put on his walking shoes and shied away. He was thankful that he did not commit to something he would regret for the rest of his life. 

The young cadet did complete his course of 4 years and was awarded a Bachelor of Science degree (BSc). Generally, his scores were good and just below the distinction marks, and the position he attained was in the top 50 of his class. Even though he was not awarded the best cadet sword or any of the prizes, he was assigned to the Navy, as he desired. He did not invite his parents to the graduation. He just wanted to be alone and be by himself. By the reflection of the mirror in his barrack, he thought the single gold pip of a star on each shoulder suited him. He continued his Naval training at Seikkyi and spent over one year at Yadanarbon Naval Head Quarters. Then he requested to be posted to Heingyi Kyun, a posting nobody wanted as it was well away from towns and cities like Yangon, but this area was home to him. He was a full lieutenant by then, and was eligible for a small wooden bungalow in the family line on the island. He learnt that his sister Hla Hla became a middle school teacher in Pathein town, got married to one of her colleagues, also a fellow middle school teacher. They both are now in the town of Monywa, their posting there and she is expecting her first child by December.

Lieutenant Tha Gyi arranged for his parents and his sister Pa Pa to be transferred from their fishing village to Heingyi Kyun Naval Base, after selling their house by the lane leading to the beach and their fishing boat also. They settled all their outstanding debts and with what balance small money they had, joined him in Heingyi Kyun. Father would walk in the mornings and evenings to the seafront and gazes seaward towards to their old fishing village. He supposed old habit dies hard. His younger sister Pa Pa today is a beautiful young lady who refuses to be married, and preferred to remain a spinster and be beside her parents looking after their wellbeing. As for Tha Lay, he is now in his old monastery on the outskirt of Pathein town as a pupil there, and understands doing rather well with his studies.

On clear nights, he could see Mawtinzun Pagoda lights which reminded him of the good times he shared with Chaw Hla. She may be gone today, but she still shines bright in his heart. Tha Gyi would pray for her sprit to be happy and free from the harshness of life she had. A day does not pass by without thinking back of her. They may have been young in body, but fully matured in their minds and knew what they really wanted. He cannot see his old fishing village as no electricity arrived there as yet, and the village was not rich enough to light enough candles at night.

At times, thoughts would return about his days as a monastery pupil, and recalled what the old Indian man told him, about his astrology in front of the market gates, one rainy day that September morning. Strange it may be, but the old man was correct in reading his life. All very spot on, and he wondered about his third love, as that turn not arrived yet. One day after his patrol around the delta area, he wondered about U Kyaw Moe and his family. He wishes to know about Chaw Hla’s other sisters too. They must be all grown up by now and might be a good idea to see whether he can offer matrimony to one of them. There was no lustfulness in his mind, just a sense of duty he owed to Chaw Hla. After all, he has not seen them for donkey’s years and he just wanted to do his part in helping them in what small capacity that he can. His thoughts were always about Chaw Hla, even though he does not own a single photograph of her. He wanted to play a small part in their wellbeing. He would ask the fishermen about U Kyaw Moe and his whereabouts, when he is next on patrol with his ship in the Andaman Sea and Pathein River delta.

Today, he is no way a rich man, but in much better position than a fisherman’s life. He looked back at the withering sea of love that he sailed. They were full of thorns and rocks. A few bright spots here and there, but too few and far between.